firegod74's Blog

No.  I'm not changing mine.
I do however see members of my circle change names like I change socks. And it puzzles me.  See, my name is my identity.  Its who I am.  I am not bobbylikesbiscuits, or 2thugcrew, I am Firegod74.  
Is it wrong that I get so attached to a name?  Or to go further a profile pic?  Does it say something about me?  Steadfast, predictable...or more negatively... predictable, unwilling to change and adapt.
Name changes of circle members don't bother me specifically.  I'm sure that the people that change them do so because they themselves are changing, or desire names that represent how they feel that day.  That is fair enough, and I understand.
But folks, please remember that When I come online I look for you.  Name changes sometimes mean it takes a while to find you.  I think its important, because sometimes when you are feeling alone and neglected, its because you are hiding from us in plain sight.

Ever wonder how many things we miss.  I mean the things that are there that we miss because we aren't paying attention.  Last night I left work.  Happy to be going home.  7 miles down the road I had this feeling I forgot to lock one door.  So I turned around.
I work in the middle of nowhere.  Really nowhere.  I'm not talking about remoter parts of Canada or anything.  I mean the place I work is 7 limes off the pavement.  7 miles from the nearest streetlight.
So when I turned around, I expected to see nothing but the dark.  And the lonely road that would take me back to the cold dark plant.  Instead I saw the light.  I'm not talking an epiphany I mean the Northern lights.  High in the sky to the east.  More colorful than normal and moving fast.  They come, they go they swirl and fade.  I called home so the kids could see.  They were that good.
It was one of those things.  If I didn't have to turn around, I would never have known they were there.  By the time I turned North they were high above me, my visor blocking them.  If not for the inconvenience of having to go back. I would have missed them all together.
Ever walk by a deer and spook it?  You jump because you never saw it in the first place?  Then wonder how many you had already walked by?  I'm having one of those kind of weeks.
We have a friend that has hit on hard times.  I almost want to offer her a place to stay till she gets back on her feet... But ummm, lets just say that way in the past there were relations between her and I, her and the gf, her me and the gf.... that really need to stay in the past.  In our house could very likely turn into in our bed.  I don't need that and neither does the family.  So as much as we would like to help her more, we must limit it to rides and stuff.  We support her when she stays clean, and give tough love when she falls off the wagon.  Its all we can do.
6 months ago I was ready to change jobs but things fell through.  Now I'm getting offers and I don't really want to leave.  Whats up with that?
My friend and his gf both lost siblings in the same month.  Its really hard to help them through it.  I haven't offered much in the way of sympathy.  They are getting enough of that.  I'm just trying to stay normal.  That way when they are ready to come back to normal they can join me.
I want a cat.  For no reason.  I have a cat.  I also have 2 dogs 2 lizards and 2 frogs.  I want a kitten though.  Thats a bad idea.
Two Broke Girls is dumb.  It has no flow.  But the one liners that they throw back and forth make me watch all the time.  I'm hooked.
Thats all for now.
Chow

 

An old mother dies.
Her intentions fall to the floor…..
This totally is the perfect song for this blog because…  Wait.  First let me say that I fluked out with the title.  It was almost Boom Boom Boom Boom, I want you in my room…. Then the storm before me flashed again BOOOOM!   And my internal jukebox skipped to Boom Boom, shaka laka laka boom! But that was retarded.  I mean, who walks a dinosaur anyway?  I mean forget the whole extinct thing.  It’s a lizard.  Ever try to walk one of those?  Well I have.  It sucks.  Lizards do not fetch.  They do not heel.  They stay.  That’s right.  They sit their ass on the sidewalk and lick stuff, with the expectation that next time the pebble will taste edible.  It never does.
Luckily the next flash of lightning was not a boom.  It was a crash.  A cacophony of earths power.   4, 5… I don’t know how many fingers of electricity lighting up the sky.  The crackle not that different than a mouthful of pop rocks.  Just amplified a ton.
I love storms.  Big ones, small ones, Crazy ones that flood my river over its banks and  tries to steal my hammock stand.  This was the best kind though.  A compressed storm of dark clouds and lightening contrasting to the perfect blue sky around it.  Slowly moving towards me like impending doom.  The air around me still.  A false calm before the eventual chaos….
And so my real blog begins.  My life is summed up in the paragraph above.  There is a change a com’in.  Small storm big storm… I have no idea.  But its coming.  I’m changing jobs.  Changing fields of work.  Changing lifestyle because of it.  And probably changing my EP habits.  The job will be more dangerous, more exciting than what I do now.  It pays more than mine does now.  On the down side, I won’t be able to plant my ass at a desk and surf EP all day.  EP will no longer be my private playground.  My only online time will be shared with family.  Family that does not know that EP exists.
So now I have to decide.  Do I share EP with them?  And yes they will come if they know.  Or do I hid it?  EP is my diary.  My journal where I can yell at the world and it cant yell back.  So what happens to that?  Do I pretend to be normal?  Do I bare my wounds for all to see?  I don’t know yet.  I’m afraid that a neutered version of me won’t be worth sharing.  It might make me disappear all together.  We’ll see.  Its all a few weeks away.  But like the storm above me now, I know change is brewing, I just don’t know its ferocity.

Isn't here >:)
I decided to do a blog, openend the little box and my mind went blank.  So you guys get NOTHING!
Ok not nothing.  But this will be very free flow and unprepared.
I dreamt last night that PINK gave me wife mind shattering oral sex on a hospital bed.  She was under the blankets so I didn't get to watch her technique.  But she was good at it.  Iwas going to try to duplicate it... but I woke up.
My sis had twins yesterday.  One 8 pounds, the other 7 pounds.  So all in all she probably lost about 20 pounds yesterday.  Another 100 and she may start looking healthy >:)
We had some people come out with coffee yesterday.  A coffee for each of them, a coffee for some other dude.  They apologised for not thinking about me (in all honesty they didn't know me or know I would be there so its not their fault)  I showed them our Cappa/mocha/Chai Tea/bean grinding on the spot uber duber coffeee machine.  I really wasn't feeling bad that I wasn't drinking their shit.
6 days till camping.  I haven't even checked to see if the boat will start.  Oh well, whats the worst that could happen....
Girls here are either becoming more sensible, more racy, or conservative.  I never see thongs poking out of jeans anymore.  So either they went back to normal unnderwear, or now they are wearing nothing at all.  I really wish I could figure out which one without gettting harasement charges.

Thats all I got for now.  Well I guess I can add that my mood and life in general seems to be improving.  Onward and upward!
Firegod.

"Are you evacuated yet?"  was the question asked over the phone.  A chuckle from the wife, then "kinda, its all mostly garbage anyway.  We should be done in a couple hours...." "OH MY GOD GET OUT!!!!!!"....

..... And so began the worst week of my life so far.  And I am not ashamed to say that that ncludes the 4am call that my mother had passed from cancer.  That was coming.  That we could prepare for.
Being told to evacuate your home because a wildfire is raging toward it is something you cannot prepare for.  And sadly, nothing we could do anything about.  We were not home.  We were hours away cleaning out the mother in laws place with no chance to save our clothes our keepsakes or our pets.  The dogs are smart.  They could probably save themselves as they are outside all the time with no leash and no fence.  But what about the cat?  Or the dragons?  They were in the house.  Trapped and sure to perish.
The phone started to ring off the hook.  Friends concerned for our safety.  It seemed the whole world knew before us...
But they didn't.  Nobody knew but the locals, because we were evavuated Saturday.  Before the news was seen around the world, before the donations from across Canada were pouring in, we were already in shock.  And I was humbled.  People called constantly offering places to live in town.  Their house was my house they said.  Don't worry about a thing they said..  And I didn't.  I don't normally worry.  Instead I turn into a machine.  Calculating the chances our house was gone, assessing the path it would take, the natural obstacles in its place, the high risk facilities that would have focused fire fighting efforts that would ultimately save us too.  I wasn't worried at all.
Then the wind changed, and mother nature kicked us right in the nuts.
Sunday morning we considered going back.  The highway we needed was  constantly being closed and openend again due to smoke.  Ultimately we decided to Stay at my dads one more night and go back Monday... But there was no going back.
Sunday afternoon the wind picked up and headed for town. The odds were cranked up by two more fires.  All right on the highways.  3 fires on 3 roads.  No safe exit for a town of 7000 that probably held much more at the time since it was the evacuation point for all those evacuated on Saturday.
Fire fighters fought, water bombers bombed the town huddled in large open areas away from structures... It wasn't enough.  Sunday evening everybody had to get out.  And they did.  Calmly exitting while homes burned one after another.
This week has been a dream.  It took days to focus.  Its such a strange feeling to walk into an evacuation center.  They asked me what I needed. I didn't know.  They asked me where I was staying... I didn't know.  I layed down on a cot. One of hundreds and stared at the ceiling.  They gave us a change of clothes and basic toiletries, but more important they gave me a chance to clear my head and get going again.
And then I remembered my friends.  The ones that had called me.  The ones that had offed me a place to stay and anything we needed....
Not one, not one has a fucking house left.  All that is left of their lives is what fit in the back of a car while embers from the flames landed around them.  
We started sharing stories with other evacuees.  
One person said when she heard the evacuation order over the radio she went outside....
Her roof was alread on fire.
They jumped in the car and hit the gas.  One side of the car was completely scorched.  Thats how close these people were to death. 
In the end, my house is safe.  That change in wind direction that wiped out half a town in an hour and a half saved my stuff.  And here I sit at my kitchen table while so many out there are still reeling.  Do they have a house?  Do they have a job?  Have they lost both or neither?  It could be weeks.  Yes still weeks before they can go back an find out for sure.  It was a very lonely drive up an abandoned highway today.  On a long holiday weekend where normally we would be celebrating this exeptionally warm weather.  I sent the wife and kids to stay with grampa for a few days while I sort out security clearances for roadblocks, basic needs we have to ship in from hours away and things lke that.
I am a strong man.  Both physically and emotionally.  But I have to say that more tears have flowed from my face this week than I can ever remember.  Whether its from watching pictures of the destruction, the sad and sometimes terrifiying stories from those that were surrounded by fire, or from the generosity of a Nation.  I don't know, but I am completely overwhelmed.  And I can't see this feeling ending soon.

Due to the title I know allot of you will skip this one.  I understand.  Oh wait.  No I don't.  Canada and the US have shitty voter turnout.  Only 30-40 percent show up.  Why?  Because we are a lazy society.  We are like corn fed hogs lining up at a trough.  Well, not me.  You.
Why is this so bad?  I'll tell you in a few points.
#1 While your lazy ass is to spoiled to vote, new immigrants are not.  They come here from repressed societies and consider the right to vote a privilege.  Politicians see this and it changes their platforms.  Suddenly changes are made to win those new votes, like subsidized housing.  Shorter qualification times for pension Plans.  On that point I have been paying into the Canada Pension Plan for about 20 years.  I will be contributing another 20 years.  If immigrants get there way the wait time to qualify could be reduced to 5 years.  So a new citizen could come here at 60, work min wage for 5 years, and get full pension and health benefits for the rest of their life.  Meanwhile when I get to 65 there won't be anything left.
#2 Policy.  Most people see politicians as the same.  All crooks. So they don't vote.  Unfortunately all crooks are not the same.  Each party has its own plan for the economy and the environment, trade and responsibilities.

In my case, I look at who we have. 
The Bloc, treasonists as far as I'm concerned.  A federal party who's only goal is to split the country.

The Liberals, One of Canadas originals.  The leader is a fruitcake.  He may have been born here but he has spent his life in the US, including going on vacation during his campaign.  I honestly wouldn't hate these guys so much if their party wasn't in such dis-array.  They need to come together as a group and present a solid plan and policy that benefits both sides of the country if I am to vote that way.  Also the energy policy they do have will cripple Alberta.  This is a big deal because Alberta is currently a HAVE Province.  We transfer money to the Federal coffers to be distributed to HAVE NOT Provinces.  If liberal policy went into effect, we would also be poor and provinces that benefit from us would be in worse shape than they already are.

NDP Chases the immigrant vote.  Their policy benefits anybody that hasn't been here long enough to have paid their share.  Policy is designed to hurt big business.  A real good way to chase more jobs away from Canada.

And the Conservatives.  Our current ruling party.  They brought us through the recession better than the rest of the WORLD.  Now the nay sayers will tell you that our country would have done ok anyway due to our banking system and our natural resources.... But what they fail to see is that it is the Conservative Policy towards natural resources that put us in that position.  So ya, they do get credit.  On top of that they want to build our military back to respectable status.  They believe in responsible spending (another reason we did so well through the recession is that we were not carrying a huge debt load before it started).

So I'm voting Conservative tomorrow.  I hope you do too.  Its a vote that benefits all of Canada, not divided parts.  please comment if you feel differently.  I would love to know your thoughts, and hope to see you at the ballots tomorrow.

Preamble:
I shoulda wrote a blog yesterday.  Yesterday everything was so fresh in my mind.  Last night i dictated my blog to myself when I should have been sleeping.  That accouts for two things.  1) I'm tired as fuck today, 2) Now it seems like I am repeating myself.  I hate repeating myself so this is going to end up a shitty blog.  Skip it if you must.  Also, please don't give me hugs if you think I feel bad.  I hate virtual hugs (though saying that almost garentees I'll get one), I think they are so stupid that they may result in comments being deleted.  And if I delete one I have to delete them all.  Otherwise people bring up the drama of why me and not her and all that shit.  So if I delete your comment, its not because I hate you.  Well probably not.  Its because I hated the cyber hug.  No offence.  So lets get to this...

Yesterday I went to a funeral.  It was a good one as far as they go.  I don't know if I have ever been to a Catholic funeral before.  We were laughing and shaking hands and little people were doing the singing so I didn't have to.  Then it came to the usual stuff.  The priest telling us about eternal life.  How death and loss is a part of the cycle, and how we should celebrate because the guy had moved on.  On to the next stage of awareness and such....
***Editors note.  This is not a political debate.  Any comments about whether there is a god or not a god will also be deleted.  Because in the end it has nothing to do with this blog, and I won't have the comments turn into a Theological war.
So anyway the guy was doing the spiel about birth death resurection and so on, when my mind started to wander.  This time to NyPixie.  And Pixie, I understand wanting to leave this place.  I've wanted to leave for a long time.  So heres my little Pixie speach.  The one I would have added to her blog if my brain hadn't locked up after reading 9 pages of cyber hugs.
Pixie, if you leave I will miss you.  But I will not mourn your loss.  I will celebrate your jump from here back into the real world.  And envy you for doing it if you do.  I wish I had the strength.  I will remember you fondly, and your legend will live on.  For this reason I will not beg you to stay, for the choice is yours.
So the funeral ends and I go to the fellowship thing.  I look around to see who I want to sit with... And realize I don't know anybody.  Not well enough that I would feel welcome plopping my ass down at their table.  So I stand in the corner with some other people, watch the slidshow about the dead guys life, and leave.
Driving home is when it hit me.  I have nobody.  I have my immediate family yes, but outside of that, who is coming to my funeral?
At this visions of Ebenezer Scrooge filled my head.  A lonely grave diggger and his faithful Bob Cratchet, standing on a lonely hill.  The similaritys between us all too haunting.
See, I grew up poor.  Dirt poor on a failig farm.  That wasn't going to be me.  I finished high school, went to college and I was off like a comet.  The money started to roll in and my demand was up.  I moved to another place.  Up up I went till I hit the limits of the atmosphere, I moved again.  Faster and faster like a comet screaming through space.  I had the cash, the wife, the house, the boat.....
And then yesterday I had a funeral.  A moment of reflection.  And now I'm sad.
See here is the thing about comets.  People always ooh and awe when they see them.  They are very rare.  But what you see isn't the comet.  What you see is the tail.  You see everything the comet leaves behind in the race across the universe.  And thats what I've done.  I've left everyone behind.  Sure I have the odd friend here. But all my true close friends are 4 hours and 7 years away.  When I die where do I go?  Do I get planted in the dirt here alone?  Or do I go back to the beginning?  The place I hated so much till about 4 years after I left it?  Will alll those peolpe left behind so long ago even care anymore?
And I don't know how to fix it.  Scrooge had a ghost or 3 to help guide his way.  I have.... nobody.
Sure I have you guys.  But lets face it.  When I get put in the dirt, you guys aren't coming.
Makes the universe a lonely place sometimes.

So anybody that visited my page yesterday saw I was going on a road trip.  I was kinda happy about it.  It was planned and unplanned. 3 guarrenteed hours of driving one way, 2 hours of fun then 3 hours back.  Easy Mcsqueasy.
Or so I thought.  The trip down, uneventful.  I went to a store I planned to visit.  I found what I wanted to buy.  Exactly where I thought it would be. I then charmed the sales person to throw in an extra on the purchase, an extra worth 1/3rd the cost of the original item.  Just as planned.  
Next stop, another town just down the highway.  A friend was to meet me there to load up some stuff I bought online.  This is not where my train fell off the tracks, but the wheels started to squeak and I shoulda took the warning.  I get to the place and call my buddy.  He got tied up at work (not really but I wish he did).  And was a ways behind me.  I asked how far behind?  4 hours.  He hadn't even left home yet...... GRRR!  And the guy I was buying shit from also wasn't home from work, so I had to load the stuff with his kindergarden teacher of a wife that only wanted to talk about little people.  Runny noses, too much energy, you know, ittle people stuff.
Finally loaded I get back to another town for an informal gathering of a forum I attend.  I drink, but sparingly and with food.  I have a 3 hour drive yet.  I behave myself to the point where even I was impressed with myself.
That was... Untill the CEO of something paid the tab for the table.  All 20 or so of us.  So just as I should have been leaving my tab was reset.... And so was my evening.
I hadn't wanted to go to the gathering and not know anybody so I had picked up an old friend along the way.  We used to work together and he just moved over here.
So just about the time we were ready to leave for the second time, he gets a text from his neice.  She and her friends are at a bar somewhere.  They need a driver.  I quickly do the math and assume that since he is younger than me, and his neice is old enough to get in the bar.... It (oops I mean she) had to be worth checking out.  So after getting totally lost we find the place.  His neice is smoking hot, her friend is not only smoking hot but pissed out of her mind and showing more cleavage than most mothers would approve of.  Then another friend comes over.  Also smoking hot.  I am now trapped in the back of a booth surrounded by babaliciousness.  
They smoke.  As they decide to head out for a puff, one turns to me and said "We are going outside for a bit.  Feel free to spike my drink" And with a wink and a smile she is gone.
Thats when I shoulda left, but no.  Stayed a bit longer.  They are now doing tequila shots and Jager.  I, like a pussy am still sipping on my first beer because of the drive I will eventually have to take.  The waitress comes and they all order shots.  I decline and pay my tab.  Hottie number 3 calls me a pussy for not drinking.  I say I can't because I have a long drive.  She looks at me and says that her place is just around the corner......
That was it.  I got the hell out.  Plugged in my trusty GPS and set t for home.
I fucking hate my gps.  I don't know if star wars was going on or what the fuck but the satelites the gps was trying to follow must have been moving.  Its the only explanation I have for the fucking circles I did.  And I did.  It started me going the right way, but then it glitched.  Of course I didn't know cuz I was lost to begin with.  Curvy roads, fields, the lights of the city beside me.  It all looked good...
Till I hit the same intersection the second time.  I knew I was fucked.  But it was dark, there was no moon due to clouds.  I had to trust the GPS... Till, much later by the way, I hit thart same intersection for the third time..... I was MAD!  The fucking GPS was ripped off the windshield and tossed in the back seat.  I'm a man, why the fuck wasa I asking something for directions anyway?
I finnaly found a sign pointing to a town I knew.  I hit it froman angle I didn'r even know existed and drove around forever trying to find a landmark that would get me heading the right way.  Finally I found it, and the road home.  I got the tunes cranked and I'm making good time.  I'm singing and driving, and really not feeling that tired when I caught something out of the corner of my eye.  A lump of snow I thought.  Wrong again.  Deer. Or country speed bumps as I like to call them.  And they are everywhere like the ighway was one big petting zoo.  I'm swerving and braking all the way home.  My eyes strained from scanning the ditches for these Kamikazi sons of bitches.
Finally I drug myself into bed at 3am.  Alarm off at 6 and here we go again.
I'm kinda hurting.  I don't think I will be on much cuz the brain doesn't have the energy to be witty.

OK so the following is from The Sun newspaper.  Who would vote for this guy.  If you are from anything but a complete Francophone background DO NOT Vote  for these people.  More importatly, VOTE FOR SOMEONE ELSE!!!
And to think that the Liberals would form a coalition with these people.  Disturbing.  Vote Conservative in the upcoming election.

OTTAWA - The Bloc Quebecois says Quebec should get out of multiculturalism. It wants the province to have its own "interculturalist" model instead.

The separatist party claims Canada's multiculturalism "sows division within Quebec's population by splitting up society into a multitude of solitudes." In the party's platform - in a section titled "Quebec's national culture" - the Bloc says Canada's multiculturalism policies "encourage the co-existence of multiple cultures while ignoring Quebec's national culture."

The Bloc tried in 2008 to exempt Quebec from the Canadian Multiculturalism Act with Bill C-505. The private member's bill, sponsored by Joliette MP Pierre Paquette, would have allowed the province to bring about its own integration model, with the French language and culture as its centrepiece.

The Bloc promises to re-introduce the bill as soon as possible.

Multiculturalism never enjoyed broad support in Quebec. It is often seen there as a measure imposed on Quebec by English Canada. "Interculturalism", by contrast, was promoted by the 2008 Bouchard-Taylor Commission on Accommodation Practices Related to Cultural Differences.

This morning I lay in bed, half asleep and half awake, trying to finish the dream I was having.  I was a cross country runner in the dream, running a favorite trail back home.  In a forest I considered mine.  There were a bunck of us, working together.  The point not who crossed the line first, but helping eachother to cross the finish line.
When my alarm went off I thought it was the wifes.  I was in such a happy place I thought I was awake, that my alarm had already gone.  After the moment of confusion I gathered my self and prepared to face the day.  Leaving the bedroom I was met with a familiar sight.  My trusty dog sparky.  He was laying facing the bedroom door as he wqas every morning.  Tail wagging slow and steady.  Since I saved him from the pound back in 2006 he has always been like this.  Extremely loyal, always by my side.
My first look at the day was a calming one.  Blue sky in a pre dawn morning.  No wind.  The ground still covered in snow.  I love peaceful mornings like this.  That rare hour of complete calm before the family, and the rest of the world, starts its chaotic cycle.
Lunch made, I head out to face the day.  Thinking how nice it would be if every day started like this.  No vehicles on the road, no rush to work, calm, serene perfect.
Then it came.  Rushing from the right.  Out into the middle of the road!  I thought I had it missed.... No! it turned around! Should I brake should I swerve?  Too late......
Fucking squirrel.  I missed him with my front tires, I don't  know about the back ones.  I didn't look in the rear view mirror to check its fate.
The moment just made me realize that no matter how good something is, it only takes a little thing to change it all.
My morning turned good again though.  Almost to work there was a baby moose on the side of the road.  He was laying there soaking up the first rays of sunshine too.  I got right up beside him and  rolled down my window.  Those big brown eyes looked back at me.  Ears all perky.  Inquisitive like all children are.  I rolled up my window and drove away.  I had to write the blog before I forgot how good I have it.  Well except for the squirrel.

 

Just finished a bonspiel.  What is that you say?  Its a curling tournament.  But it is so much more.
A bonspiel means booze?  How much booze?  We had a keg out on the ice with us.  It was free.  Why give away free booze?  Because it keeps games on time if players are not always leaving to go up stairs to the bar to order more booze.
I had a great time and released allot of stress.  People were so funny all weekend.  I had to take notes on things I heard so I can share them with you guys.

I. Am. Not. A. Whore. (umm I think she is)

Fuck it.  Lets flip for winner and go drinking.

Dude1: What the fuck were you aiming at?
Dude 2: Huh?  I just chucked it.  my vision is fucked and everythings blurry.

Dude 1: You should see the stripper.  She is perfect.  I tell ya, you could not draw a better looking girl.
Dude 2:  Of course not dumbass, I can't draw!

Dude 1: Are you Skipping?
Dude 2: Are you retarded?

Girl: Whatch what my boobs can do! (bounce bounce)
Guy: Fuck off.  I fingrbanged you in the courtesy van last year!

A 52oz bubba cup interferes with my curling ability.  But it makes losing more fun.

Dude 1: Why did it miss?
Dude 2: Cuz you can't fucking aim.

My skip: Tell him to go eat some granola so the pussy can throw harder.

Dude 1:  Hey is that your dad down there?  
Dude 2: Ya it is!  How could you tell?
Dude 1:  Easy.  He also looks like a fucking retard.

Boyfriend: (Pissed that gf is wearing low cut shirt) Jesus can you show more cleavage?
Girlfriend: YUP! (flashes bar to piss him off)

Me:  How did last night go?
Lead: pretty good.  I feel great!
Me: Do you remember playing with your girlfriends boobs in front of her parents?  And her always slapping your hand away when you pinched her nipples?
Lead:  ..... Well, I was feeling great, now I feel kinda bad.

Lately I haven't been on much.  When I am its a quick in and out usually.  I just wanted to say that its nothing to do with any of you.  I'm just trying to focus more on work, and that doesn't afford me the time I want to spend on here.  I'll try to comment when I can, but allot of activity will be buried before I get back on.  So if there is something you figure I should comment on and don't send me a pm or whiteboard and I'll try to catch up when I can.
It sucks because I can lose myself in this site for hours.
FG

Vegas was crazy.  There was unending booze, hookers, johns.  There were sights to see, and things to do.  There were hobos, scantilly clad women, men in suits.  And I got hitched.

None of that is the crazy vegas of which my title speaks.  No, mine starts with the stupid couple (no friends of mine) couple who let their 5 ear old boy run way ahead of them in the hotel to the bank of 10 elevators.  They didn't think he would get in one.  He did. And so ensued a very Benny Hill episode of a kid up an elevator, a parent up another, another parent up another. In and out of random elevators trying to catch up to one another.  In all the confusion (and the booze.  Yummy yummy booze), I went to the wrong floor.  I was staying on 4, but went to 14.  Ya, slight miss.  I go down to 4.  Get out.  Can hear the kid bawling at another decending elevator.  Hit the button like a ninja, and just like that I had the kid.  But on the 4th floor.  I knew his parents were staying on the 19th, but I was smarter and kidnapped the kid (quite forcably since the brat wanted nothing to do with a stranger), and took him down to the lobby level till his dumbass parents finally came back down, or up, or where ever they were.  And did I get a thank you?  Nope.  Stupid cum dumpster just went on her way.

Next was the dude passed out in font of my hotel room.  In full passed out recovery postion (you folks who know first aid know what I'm talking about).  So hes laying there asleep, with a pair of womens high heels, his wallet, and his Iphone laying beside him.  I could have stole it all, but I'm too nice.  I called security and after they came I found out he had missed his floor by one. I totally understand that.  Meanwhile, his equally drunk girlfriend was a frantic mess one floor up because she had lost her boyfriend and he had her shoes and room key.  So she couldn't even goo looking for him.  I still don't know how they got separated.  But I don't care.  I just wonder why it wasn't the girl that I could find passed out in front of my hotel room instead of the guy.

Ok so the 5 people that read my blogs know that last fishing trip didn't go so well.  Yesterday made up for it.  I got an underwater camera for Christmas that comes with a monitor so you get a live feed of the bottom of the lake.
Yesterdays trip happened in the daylight.  You could see the bottom very well.  Burbot were swimming by constantly.  We caught a couple, and it was really cool watchingthem take the hook.  The other picky bastards were not so fun.  The ones you could see sitting right in front of the hook and not biting.  You could bang them on the nose with it and it didn't matter.
I was almost ready to call it a day, when HE showed up.  Jack, Pike Slough Shark, whatever you want to call them, Albertas baddest predator fish came in to the screen.  SHOWTIME!
I got my oldest boy to jig his hook, ZOOM! Just as he jigged the fish darted forward.  And due to the jigging action he had missed.  Then it looped around and came to son#2s hook.  HOLD IT STILL! I cried.  Not wanting a repeat of the first time.  This time old jack just sat down.  His belly on the bottom of the lake.  Inches from the hook.  Nothing could make him go the last two inches....
Off it goes.  I can't believe it.  This underwater monster so close and then gone.  NO NOT GONE!  here he comes again!  His target NOT the hooks, but my camera! He came straight at the lens and CHOMP!
the screen goes all shaky as he tries to eat it.  It finally settles down after he spits it out.  Where is he? THERE HE IS! He came in hard and this time BANG!  Boy #1 sets the hook and the fight is on.  20 Minutes later we get it up the hole.  A 13 pound jack fish.  The kids are tired I'm tired.  The camera is tangled all around jack the fish, and my fingers are bleeding.
My son has now out fished me at 11.  I have never caught one that big.  
BEST FISHING DAY EVER! My mood: pretty hyper

I just read a story about a donkey that was hooked to a parasail in July.  The donkey has died.  In december from heart attack.  Some are now attributing the death of the donkey to the parasailing event.....
OK folks time for a reality check.  
The donkey just fucking died.
 See the rest of the detals that you have to pick through the whoel article to get, is that the donkey is 40 years old.  Humans at 40 have heart attacks whether they parasail or not, and our life expectancy is way more than a donkey.  Second, the donkey fell ill in December.  It stopped eating so they shoved food down its throat.  eventually it croaked.  And the autopsy (on a fucking donkey?) showed heart attack.....
If I am going to die of a heart attack from parasailing, its going to be while I'm dangling my ass high above shark infested waters.  Not 6 months later.
True cause of heart atack? 
*note.  I am not a medical practisioner and this is clearly just my opinion*
Some asshole animal lover took a 40 year old donkey away from its owner and shoved it in a coral with other fucking donkeys.  A 40 year relationship ends with you in donkey jail, It makes you sad and the donkeys heart broke.


Heres the link to the story:
http://www.canada.com/health/Russia+flying+donkey+dies+heart+attack/4228851/story.html

So I'm Thinking about getting a tat.  This is Ifrit.  A fire god from the Final Fantasy Series. He is also my current avatar.   I'm thinking of getting one of these, but which one?  If you have an opinion, please use top or bottom for your choices.

Jan 28th, 2011. 2pm.  my alarm clock goes off and its time for action.  I'm coming off night shift and kind of dopey, but today we go ice fishing for the first time this year.  Its kinda a big deal.
Jan 28th, 2011 3pm.  Coffee made and and fishing gear in the truck.  Time to hook up to the shack and get going.  My scheduled rendezvous with my fishing partner is 3:15 at the gas pumps.
Jan 28, 2011 3:30pm.  My lights on the shack won't reach.  The cord is 20 ft long.  The ice fishing shack is 12.  My mind is boggled by all this.  No time to study the break in physics.  Now where are my wire cutters?
Jan 28th, 2011  4pm  My son now knows the traditional art of wire stripping using your teeth.  The wire bits should come out when he brushes.  Trailer wired and ready for the open road.
Jan 28th, 2011 4:45 pm Made it to the gas station.  A bit late, but not as late as my partner.  All fishing snacks from home already eaten.  Time to resupply.
Jan 28th, 2011 5:30  At the lake and putting on chains.  The wind is colder than a witches tit.  I hear those are quite chilly.  Buddy is the worst tire chain putter onner I've ever seen.  makes me wonder how he ties his shoes in the morning.  Probably velcro straps.  He is also our navigator.  His path will take us not on the perfectly good trail, but just off.  Ominous feeling of dread sets in.  I crack a beer to calm my nerves.
Jan 28th, 2011 6pm  Chains on ready to go (again)  Fisherman comes off the lake and tells us to stick to the trail and the lake is good after the end of it.  My mind wants to ask me a nagging question about why we would want to go further than the trail.  My toes interrupt to tell me they are freezing, so I get in the truck and off we go.

The trail has pools of water.  Water on a supposedly frozen lake is far from fine by my definition. However, its better than the snowbank dumbass wanted me to drive in and we make good time.  The end of the trail nears, and its only 150 yards to my destination.  A GPS'ed fishing hole from the summer.  Just a little farther now.

7pm I am motherloving whorebanging bobs your uncle stuck  75 yards from our destination.   Shoveling for an hour has only accomplished one thing.  A desire for something stronger than beer.

7:30 Free at last.  A buddy with a 4X4 and two tow ropes later we are free.  The shack now abandoned in the middle of the lake.  For now.  We get stuck twice more getting back to the trail, but only normal stuck, not stuck because your tires are 2 feet off the ground stuck.  That's the worst kind of stuck by the way.

9pm  A successful day of fishing.  Nobody died, I still have all my toes, and getting home late means A&W burgers for supper.  Their rootbeer is the best.  Especially after I top it up with rye and watch Friday night mature content on Showcase.

Tomorrow we are trying again.  I'll update on how that turns out.


Update.  
Dumbass got to the lake an hour before me.  He then proceded to direct traffic till my arrival.  The water on the trail is gone do to the -35 wind chill last night and now the lake is calm.  He tells the folks that are scared of the ice that it is safe, and tells them about where to go.
We drive right past all these people to where our shack is.  In the daylight you can see that I got stuck on the only snowbank in the area.
After an hour of setup, drilling holes and what not we get fishing.  And fishing and fishing.  I have a camera on the bottom of the lake and I haven't seen a fish yet.  However I did learn something.  Fresh water shrimp love the camera.  They spent allot of time swimming up to the lens and checking us out.  I so wanted to see something gobble them up.
The only real success story was my boys.  They are only 8 and 11, but it took them about half an hour to find a couple chicks that were skidooing and they were hooked up for the day.
At least they caught something :)

Oh, and everybody that dumbass helped out caught fish.  I'm beginning to loathe that guy